Sunday, April 1, 2012

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Ticketamerica.com has tickets for the Palace of Auburn Hills in Michigan and Quicken Loans Arena or Gund Arena and the Bankers Life Fieldhouse (Formerly Conseco Fieldhouse) plus seating for home games.

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quicken palace Auburn bankers conseco

Ticketamerica.com has tickets for the Palace of Auburn Hills in Michigan and Quicken Loans Arena or Gund Arena and the Bankers Life Fieldhouse (Formerly Conseco Fieldhouse) plus seating for home games.

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Sunday, January 8, 2012

bears bears bears


Completed Transactions bears bears bears Link Only
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Tuesday, June 8, 2010

funny sms jokes

Funny SMS Jokes
Sharabi eyes donate karne gaya, Counter Clerk asks: Kuch kehna chahte ho?
Sharabi: Jise lagao usse bata dena ye do peg ke baad khulti hain
Wife: If I die what will u do?
Husband: Main paagal ho jaun ga!
Wife: Will u marry again after I die?
Husband: Pagal kuch bhi kar sakta hai!
Boy: mom, aaj mera dost ghar AA raha hai....
ghar ke sab khilone chhupa de.
Mom: tera dost chor hai kya?
Boy: nahin, who apne khilone pahechan leg
Ek aadmi apni biwi ka antim sanskar kar ke, Ghar ja raha tha ke achanak bijli, Chamki, Badal garje, Zor se barish shuru hoi, Aadmi bola lagta hai pahunch gai.
lady drinking coke, machar falls in .
lady take it out ,
machar says ;maaa
lady ask why u did u call me maaaa
machar says mien teri kook(COKE) se nikla hon maaaaaaaaaa
kal main ne hawksbay per dekkha, 4 addmi ne eik saat sumander main chalang lagaye magar sirf eik ke baal gheley howe. ye kase mumkin hai
baqi 3 ganje they
Teacher:Bachon wada kro kabhi sharab,cigrette nahi piyo ge
Bachey:Nahi piyenge
Teacher:Girls ka peecha nai karoge
Bachey:Nahi karenge
Teacher:Unn par awaaze nai kaso ge
Bachey: nahi kasenge
Teacher:Watan par zindigi qurbaan karo ge
Bachey:Kardenge,aesi zindigi ka karna bhi kya hai..
Teacher :Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun.Everyone must attend it.
Raju:No ma"m! I will not be able to attend it.
Teacher :Why?
Raju:My mother will not allow me to go so farr !!
Baap Beti Se ,
Pehle Tum Mujh Ko Papa Kahte The Ab Dady Kuyn Kahti Ho ,
Kiya Wajah Hai ?
Beti : Papa Kahne Se Lipstick Jo Kharab Hoo Jate Hai
one day dog dancing madly on the merage of lion lion ask y r u dancing madly dog said i am also lion before merrage....
Teacher: "LOVE" kia Hai
Ali: Sir "L" ko pakar k "O" ko duba k "V" main Ghusa k jab "E" ki Awaz aye to usay "LOVE" kehtay hain
Explain The word "AUTOMATICALLY"
....Nahe pata
i"ll xplain... ager koi ganji ladki auto mein bethi ho
to use kehte hain auto_mein_takli
2 Ghadhe{Donky}Apas Main Bateen Kar Rahe Thay.1st Yar Mera Malik Bohat Zalim Hay.Bohat Marta Hay Kaam B Zyada Leta Hay.2ndto Tum Bhag Jao Na Is Ko Chood Ke.1st Yar Bhag To Jaon Per Ik Waja Se Ruka Hoon. Mera Malik Jab B Apni BETI Se Ladayi Karta Hay Na. To Us Ko Ye Kehta Hy Ke Beti Tum Sudher Jao Warna Main Ney Teri
Shadi GADHE Se Kar Deni Hay..
Teacher:There is a frog,Ship is sinking,potatoes cost Rs 3/kg . Then,what is my age?
STUDENT:32 yrs.
Teacher:How do you know?
STUDENT:Well,my sister is 16 yrs old and she is half mad
Teacher :Because of Gandhiji"s hard work what do we get on 15th August.
Student:A HOLIDAY
A Family Saw ""Sholay"" Movie
Came Back Home And Husband Romantically Said To Wife
"" Nach Basanti Nach""
Child Added
""Nahin Basanti Is Kute K Samne Mat Nachna""
FATHER: How Are Your Grades, Son?
SON: Under Water, Dad.
FATHER: Under Water? What Do You Mean?
SON: They"Re Below C Level
Costomer- Whose Eggs Is This
Shopkeeper - Its Mine
Costomer - Ok So Give Me One Dozen Of Chicken S Eggs
Wife - Suniye Kya Aap Kitchen Se Garam Masala La Kar Aayenge
Husband - Magar Yahan To Nahin Hai
Wife - Mujha Pata Tha Tumha Nahin Mila Ge Is Liya Main Pehla Se Le Aayi Baghwan!!!!!!!!
Munna: Abay Circuit! Jaa Baajo Walay Ghar Say Doctor Ko Bula Ke Laa, Meri Tabiat Kharab Ho Reli Hai.
Circuit: Aey Bhai ! Aap To Khud Doctor Ho.
Munna: Bolay To Meri Fees Buhat Zyada Hai
Naukarani: Malkan Ap Udaas Kyun Hai
Malkan: Tumhare Sahab Office Ki Kisi Larki Se Payyar Karte Hai
Naukarani: Nahiiiiin, Sahab Mujhe Dokha Nahi De Sakte
Husband Aur Wife Hotel Me Gaye Tabhi 1 Lady Ne
Hello Kiya,
Wife- Koun Thi Wo?
Hus-Tum Dimag Kharab Mat Karo, Main Pehle Hi Pareshan Hu Ki Woh Bhi Yehi Puchegi.
Rizwan: Doctor say help me, mein jab baat karta huun to muje sirf awaaz sunai deti hai, aadmi nahi dikhta.
Dr: Aaisa kab hota hai?
Rizwan: Phone karte waqt
Son: Dad, what is an idiot?
Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange and long way that another person who is listening to him can"t understand him. Do you understand me?
Son: No.
Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense.
Student: The future tense is "You will go to jail".
Man said passionately: Will you marry me? My father is a millionaire and 93 years old.
He is going to die soon and then I shall be very very rich. What do you say? She said nothing but a week later, she became his mother!
Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatoes 5 days ago, he hasn`t come back yet!
Santa: Why don`t u cook something else.
PHILOSOPHY : small things hurt a lot
Example : u can sit on a mountain but not on a pin...
Teacher:"Now,children,if I saw a man beating a donkey n stopped him,wht virtue wuld I be showing?"
Student:"Brotherly love
Teacher: 3 girls are walking in the road. Turn the sentence in to exclamitory.
student: WOW!

hindi riddles

Q. Ram SITA hai ... To ram kaun hai?
Ans. Tailor ( darzi - Sita means seena)


Q. Prasad ne Kumble se Pepsi laane ko kaha. Kumble Pepsi kee ek bottle leke aa gaya par seedha Sachin ke paas pahooncha. Bataao kyon?
Ans. Tendulkar is an opener.


Q. Ek Madrasi ne kaha, Main 'heart is umbrella' movie dekh'na chaahta hoon. woh kaun see movie dekh'na chaahta hai?
Ans. "Dil Chhata Hai!" (Chhata is Umbrella in Hindi)


Q. Jackie Chan ki saas ka naam kya hai.. nahi pata..
Ans. D'Cold . (chain ki saans = D'cold )


Q. chalo ab batao... Jackie Chan ki bahu ka naam kya hai?
Ans. D'Cold again. kyunki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi.


Q. Jugal Hansraj aur Mayuri Kango bus stop par khade the. Bus aayi - Mayuri gayi, magar Jugal nahin gaya - kyon ?
Ans. Because Mayuri 'can - go'.


Q. Ek aur..... Sharukh Khan aur Kajol bus stop pe khade hain. Kajol
chali gayi, par Sharukh bus pe nahin chadha - kyon?
Ans. Kyonki woh Kajol ko chhodne aaya tha. Ha, ha, ha...


Q. Ek aur muaka de hi dete hain. ..... kamal, vimal do bhai the, dono bus stop pe khade the.. bus aai vimal chadh jaata hai per kamal nahin jaata hai. Kyon?
Ans. Kyonki bus per likha tha ONLY VIMAL !!!!!


Q. aur chaahiye...theek hai. Kadar Khan aur Shakti Kapoor dono bus stop pe khade the...bus aai aur Kadar Khan chadh jaata hai per Shakti Kapoor nahin jata. Qyon?
Ans. Qyonki woh Shakti Kapoor dusri bus ka wait kar raha tha.


Q. aakhri sawaal :
Amitabh aur Pran dono bus stop pe khade the...
bus aai aur Pran chadh jaata hai per Amitabh nahin jata Qyon?
Ans. pran jaaye per bachan na jaaye

unthinkable riddles

What letter is next in this sequence?
M, A, M, J, J, A, J, S, F, O, _
Answer: N
These are the first letters of the months of the year


What's full of holes but still holds water?
Answer: a sponge


What building has the most stories?
Answer: A Library


Why is an island like the letter T?
Answer: It is in the middle of "waTer".


Pronounced as one letter,
And written with three,
Two letters there are,
And two only in me.
I'm double, I'm single,
I'm black, blue, and gray,
I'm read from both ends,
And the same either way.
What am I?
Answer: an eye


My life can be measured in hours,
I serve by being devoured.
Thin, I am quick
Fat, I am slow
Wind is my foe.
Answer: A candle


What other letter fits in the following series:
B C D E I K O X?
Answer: The letter H. All of the letters in the series flipped vertically remain the same.


What is the next letter in the series: "B, C, D, E, G, ..."? And Why?
Answer: The next letter would be P. They all rhyme.


Two mothers and two daughters go to a pet store and buy three cats. Each female gets her own cat. How is this possible?
Answer: There is a grandmother, a mother, and a daughter.The grandmother is also the mother's mother, so there are 2 daughters and 2 mothers, but only a total of 3 people.


What has wheels and flies, but is not an aircraft?
Answer: A garbage truck


What is the best month for a parade?
Answer: March


What's white when it’s dirty?
Answer: A blackboard


Which is faster, hot or cold?
Answer: Hot’s faster. You can catch a cold.


Six glasses are in a row. The first three are full of juice; the second three are empty. By moving only one glass, can you arrange them so empty and full glasses alternate?
Answer: Pour the juice from the second glass into the fifth glass.


Two fathers and two sons went duck hunting. Each shot a duck but they shot only three ducks in all. How come?
Answer: The hunters were a man, his son and his grandson.


When is your mind like a rumpled bed?
Answer: When it is not made up.


What can you put in a wood box that will make it lighter?
Answer: holes


What is it that everybody does at the same time?
Answer: grow older


Take away my first letter; take away my second letter; take away all my letters, and I would remain the same. What am I?
Answer: The postman (mailman)


A doctor and a nurse have a baby boy. But the boy's father is not the doctor and the mother is not the nurse. How can it be?
Answer: The doctor is the mother (female doctor) and the nurse is the father (male nurse).


What gets wet when drying?
Answer: A towel


The more you take away, the larger it becomes? What is it?
Answer: A hole


You can keep it only after giving it away to someone else. What is it?
Answer: Your word


What goes up a chimney down, but won't go down a chimney up?
Answer: An umbrella


What seven letters did Old Mother Hubbard say when she opened her cupboard?
Answer: O I C U R M T


What is so fragile even saying its name can break it?
Answer: Silence


How could a cowboy ride into town on Friday, stay two days, and ride out on Friday?
Answer: His horse is named Friday!


What comes once in a minute, twice in a moment, but never in a thousand years?
Answer: The letter M


The more you take the more you leave behind.
Answer: footsteps


A word I know, six letters it contains. Subtract just one, and twelve is what remains.
Answer: dozens


This runs fore to aft on one side of a ship, and aft to fore on the other. What is it?
Answer: The name of the ship


I am a box that holds keys without locks, yet they can unlock your soul. What am I?
Answer: A Piano


What turns everything around, but does not move?
Answer: a mirror


While walking across a bridge I saw a boat full of people. Yet on the boat there wasn't a single person. Why?
Answer: Every one on the boat is married.


Here on earth it is true, yesterday is always before today; but there is a place where yesterday always follows today. Where?
Answer: In a dictionary


I am an insect, & the first half of my name reveals another insect. Some famous musicians had a name similar to mine. What am I?
Answer: beetle


What relation would your father's sister's sister-in-law be to you?
Answer: Your mother.


There is a seven-letter word in the English language that contains ten words without rearranging any of its letters." What is the word?
Answer: "therein": the,there, he, in, rein, her, here, ere, therein, herein.


Brothers or sisters have I none, but that mans father is my fathers son. Who is that man?
Answer: I am my fathers son, so that mans father must be me. So that man must be my son.


What word looks the same upside down and backwards?
Answer: SWIMS


When can you add two to eleven and get one as the correct answer?
Answer: When you add two hours to eleven o'clock, you get one o'clock.


How far can a dog run into the woods?
Answer: Halfway through the woods. After halfway the dog would be running out of the woods, not "into the woods."


Two legs I have, and this will confound: only at rest do they touch the ground! What am I?
Answer: A Wheelbarrow


It goes up, but at the same time goes down. Up toward the sky, and down toward the ground. It's present tense and past tense too, come for a ride, just me and you. What is it?
Answer: A See-Saw



Which word from Group B belongs with the words from Group A?
A. blast, paper, box, bank
B. juice, bag, cradle, carpet
Answer: BAG. All of the words in group A can begin with the word SAND


I am a path situated between high natural masses. Remove my first letter & you have a path situated between man-made masses. What am I?
Answer: valley (-v = alley)


What can you hold without ever touching or using your hands?
Answer: your breath


What 7 letter word becomes longer when the third letter is removed?
Answer: lounger


Whoever makes it, tells it not. Whoever takes it, knows it not. And whoever knows it wants it not.
Answer: counterfeit money


You can see nothing else
When you look in my face,
I will look you in the eye
And I will never lie.
Answer: your reflection


I know a word of letters three. Add two, and fewer there will be.
Answer: few


What are the next 3 letters in this riddle?
o t t f f s s _ _ _
Answer: e n t
The first seven letters stand for - one two three four five six seven


He starts and ends 2 common English words. One painful in love, one painful in everyday matter.
Do you know what 2 words I must be?
Answer: Heartache and Headache

riddles or brain teasers

I am taken from a mine, and shut up in a wooden case, from which I am never released, and yet I am used by almost everybody.
Pencil lead

What goes round the house and in the house but never touches the house?
The sun

What is it that you can keep after giving it to someone else?
Your word

What walks all day on its head?
A nail in a horseshoe

What gets wet when drying?
A towel

What comes once in a minute, twice in a moment, but never in a thousand years?
The letter M

What is round as a dishpan, deep as a tub, and still the oceans couldn't fill it up?
A sieve

There were five men going to church and it started to rain. The four that ran got wet and the one that stood still stayed dry.
Body in coffin, and bearers

The more you take, the more you leave behind. What are they?
Footsteps

He who has it doesn't tell it. He who takes it doesn't know it. He who knows it doesn't want it. What is it?
Counterfeit money

Brothers and sisters have I none but that man's father is my father's son.
My son

Who spends the day at the window, goes to the table for meals and hides at night?
A fly

I bind it and it walks. I loose it and it stops.
A sandal

What goes round and round the wood but never goes into the wood?
The bark of a tree

I went to the city, I stopped there, I never went there, and I came back again.
A watch

I have a little house in which I live all alone. It has no doors or windows, and if I want to go out I must break through the wall.
A chicken in an egg

Scarcely was the father in this world when the son could be found sitting on the roof.
Fire, smoke

There are four brothers in this world that were all born together. The first runs and never wearies. The second eats and is never full. The third drinks and is always thirsty. The fourth sings a song that is never good.
Water, fire, earth, wind

A cloud was my mother, the wind is my father, my son is the cool stream, and my daughter is the fruit of the land. A rainbow is my bed, the earth my final resting place, and I'm the torment of man.
Rain

Poke your fingers in my eyes and I will open wide my jaws. Linen cloth, quills, or paper, my greedy lust devours them all.
Shears (or scissors)

What is that which goes with a carriage, comes with a carriage, is of no use to a carriage, and yet the carriage cannot go without it?
Noise

It stands on one leg with its heart in its head.
A cabbage

It's been around for millions of years, but it's no more than a month old. What is it?
The moon

A white dove flew down by the castle. Along came a king and picked it up handless, ate it up toothless, and carried it away wingless.
Snow melted by the sun

As I went across the bridge, I met a man with a load of wood which was neither straight nor crooked. What kind of wood was it?
Sawdust

What belongs to you but others use it more than you do?
Your name

What goes up the chimney down, but can't go down the chimney up?
An umbrella

What is is that you will break even when you name it?
Silence

What fastens two people yet touches only one?
A wedding ring

What is it the more you take away the larger it becomes?
A hole

I am the beginning of sorrow, and the end of sickness. You cannot express happiness without me, yet I am in the midst of crosses. I am always in risk, yet never in danger. You may find me in the sun, but I am never out of darkness.
The letter S

What is put on a table, cut, but never eaten?
A pack of cards

Who are the two brothers who live on opposite sides of the road yet never see each other?
Eyes

What holds water yet is full of holes?
A sponge

Though it is not an ox, it has horns; though it is not an ass, it has a pack-saddle; and wherever it goes it leaves silver behind. What is it?
A snail

Lives without a body, hears without ears, speaks without a mouth, to which the air alone gives birth.
An echo

A hundred-year-old man and his head one night old.
Snow on a tree stump

What goes into the water red and comes out black?
A red-hot poker

What goes into the water black and comes out red?
A lobster

When one does not know what it is, then it is something; but when one knows what it is, then it is nothing.
A riddle